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Do NOT Submit Your Common App Without Reading This! | 7 Deadly Sins

  • Writer: Kevin Zhen
    Kevin Zhen
  • Aug 21, 2024
  • 5 min read

Updated: Aug 22, 2024



I've been meeting with many seniors recently and have seen the same 6 problems repeatedly showing up in your essays. The good news is that each of these are easily fixable. So without further ado, let’s jump into Common App mistakes: the 7 Deadly Sins.


Mistake 1: Weak Hooks

First of all, I see you guys writing some weak hooks. 


Rather than writing two to three paragraphs of exposition, drop us right into the heart of the conflict instead! I’d much rather you guys grip my attention with the first line, then later explain how you ended up in that conflict as opposed to beginning with some long-winded backstory.


Oftentimes, dialogue can serve as an effective hook as well as a one-line description of the predicament you're in:

  • "It's 3 AM, my phone buzzes: 'Kevin, can you build a drone for my short film? I need it in two weeks.'"

  • "The first challenge to building an igloo is frostbite. The second is running out of daylight."


To test if your hook is effective, just ask a simple yes or no question after those first two or three sentences: Do I have a reason to continue on? Do I want to finish the story? 


Before I continue, I need to stress why a good hook is so important. 


Imagine you're a college admissions officer. Your name is Kathy. It’s 11 AM and you're on your third hazelnut latte. You've read not hundreds but thousands of essays at this point, and you're down to your last 269. You open up the first paragraph to a new essay, read the first paragraph—oh god, it's so generic. Not again. Let’s just skim this one… 


Now, you guys might think that I am joking, but I have literally heard of cases where tired admissions officers will skim your essay if they don't like the first two sentences. Yes, guys, skim—like skip entire words and sentences that you spent days writing.


Admission officers are human too. Sometimes they do it consciously, other times unconsciously. So pay special attention to the beginning and end of your Common App. Do not give Kathy a reason to skim. Or throw your essay away.


Mistakes 2 and 3: Problem-Solution Ratio + Passive Characters

Moving on to issues number two and three. 


#2 :The Problem/Solution Ratio: in short, this is the difference between things happening to you and you making things happen. Generally speaking, I recommend a 20-60-20 ratio for problem-solution-reflection. Obviously, this structure doesn’t apply to every Common App essay, but the takeaway here is that the bulk of your essay should be spent explaining what kinds of concrete actions you have taken to solve the dilemma at hand.


For example, you’re building an igloo and your friends are getting frostbite. What do you do? Grab that scarf, rip it up into shreds, make some makeshift gloves. Daylight is running out; the temperature is dropping. Fast. You tell your friends that rather than building three medium-sized igloos, it’s better, faster, and more efficient to build two giant igloos. (You might think this is a weird example, but one of my Yale friends literally wrote about this scenario in their common app essay). 


Another common mistake that I see a lot of students make is that they seem to play more of a supporting role in their own essay rather than a lead one. It’s a lot of, “Here’s what happened to me, let me explain my environment, tell you about my circumstances.”


And while this context is necessary to some degree, just try to keep it to a minimum. It’s all about balance. I want to know why and how you became the main character.


What I would recommend right now is go back to your essay and highlight the things that are happening to you in one color and the things that you are making happen in a different color. Then look at the ratio. I really wish someone had told me this tip because I made the very same mistake in my own Common App.


Mistake 4: Lack of Specificity

Issue number four is one of the most common, but also the easiest to fix: a lack of specificity in your details (particularly your solution).


Returning back to the drone example. Rather than saying, "I stayed up all night working hard on my brother’s drone," walk me through every single step


"I went to the We Like Drones subreddit, then upgraded the motor engine. I took apart a GoPro so that the frame would be lighter and the drone could fly with a lightweight camera. After downing a Red Bull-Monster cocktail and listening to the Guardians of the Galaxy mixtape on repeat for four hours, I finally came up with a preliminary design." 


That’s not perfect, and I’m no engineer, but you guys get the point. I’d much rather you be waaaay too specific and then trim down. These details are absolutely crucial to showcasing how you evolved and became the main character of your story.


Mistake 5: What Will You Contribute?

Somewhere in your essay, you need to either implicitly or explicitly answer the question: What are you going to contribute to your new college community? Is it technical skills, your leadership, your empathy, a sense of duty or service? If I were in your shoes, I’d write down those 1-2 key words at the very top of your essay. Then show your Common App to two or three friends and ask, “Did you pick up what I was putting down? Did you take away these one or two core character traits?” 


Mistake 6: Lack of Personal Growth

Super simple, guys. At the top of your essay, scribble down from A to B. In fact, it’s better if you can say, “I went from A to B and then C,” or “from A to B to C and D.” This adds further layers of complexity to your reflection.


Mistake 7: Obvious Insights

The final deadly sin: obvious insights. Rather than writing, "I want to be an engineer because I like solving complex problems," say, "I want to be an engineer to empower artists and creatives so that they can execute the impossible, the imaginary. The beauty of this approach is that multiple people can take the same tool I made and apply it in different ways. In this manner, I've gone from zero to one, and others can take my tool from one to N."


Conclusion 

Just to recap, here are the seven deadly sins:

  1. Weak hooks

  2. Poor problem-solution ratio

  3. Playing a supporting role instead of a lead one

  4. Lack of specificity

  5. Not showing what you will contribute

  6. Lack of personal growth

  7. Obvious insights


Avoiding these seven deadly sins will elevate your Common App from merely good to exceptional. Craft a compelling hook, balance your problem-solution ratio, and ensure you’re the hero of your story. 


Be specific, articulate what you'll contribute to your future campus, map out your growth, and steer clear of cliché insights. Each of these elements plays a crucial role in creating a memorable and impactful application. 


If you’re ready to polish your essays and make them shine, we’re here to help. With over 3,500 essays reviewed and countless top 20 admissions secured, ElevatEd is your go-to resource for professional guidance. Visit ElevatEd School to get started on perfecting your applications. You got this! 


Your virtual big brother,

Kevin Zhen


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